In an effort to not only increase the frequency of the blogs I write, but to also step outside the box and write about topics that I may not normally think to write about, I decided to put the fate of my subject matter in the hands of my facebook family. Every Monday I post the word ‘now’ as my status update, with the commitment that I will write about whatever topic the first person suggests. It has had an interesting effect on things, because first of all, I post this status update randomly during the day, so it has become somewhat of a competition to be the first one to notice my post and to get in first with a subject. Secondly, and likely more interesting, is that it can lead to a topic that I have absolutely no interest in writing about whatsoever. I don’t mean a topic in which I do not have an opinion, I mean a topic that is hardly worthy of being written about at all. Thanks to my old friend Jocelyn, I am bound by my commitment to write my blog this week about cheeseburgers. This will be quite brief.
If you don’t like cheeseburgers, you are either a vegetarian, or lactose intolerant. Otherwise, you are not somebody I want to be friends with. I don’t care where you get your meat. I don’t care what kind of cheese you like on it, even though Swiss and cheddar are the only two quality choices. I don’t care if you like grinding shit up in your meat to add flavor. I don’t care if you like steak sauce, ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, relish or any other goddamn condiment for that matter. Every single ingredient that you use to make the cheeseburger that you like, is arbitrary. All the matters is that you acknowledge that cheeseburgers are great. I don’t think anything else needs to be said about it.
There’s my blog. See you next week with what I can only imagine will be a much more worthy topic. Peace out
P.S. If you make any effort whatsoever to convince me that you think a turkey burger is as good as a cheeseburger, just defriend me now. 🙂